Hello! I’ve been feeling a bit under the weather, but didn’t want to neglect this blog anymore than I have the last week. So, I’ll keep this short and to the point.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the common statement by those grieving the death of a child that they feel so alone. That lead me to the common statement by others that they don’t know what to say to, do for, or act around those who are grieving. Our society has a problem with grief literacy. So many are illiterate.
When a child dies, that experience sends the family to a foreign land…another planet almost. It’s a place with an entirely foreign language that is occupied by people who look like someone who once lived among everyone else, but they are forever changed. The death creates new people. It changes those left behind into those who occupy this foreign land of parents, siblings, grandparents who have experienced something that defies the natural order of life. The difficulty comes in that this foreign land is right in the midst of normal life. Friends and extended family are left with the difficult task of trying to figure out how to speak a language they aren’t accustomed to in a place they don’t understand. I’ve decided that if we (the grieving family) really desire to feel more support and less alone when faced with the death of a child, we need to teach others the language. Likewise, if friends and loved ones truly have a desire to love and support the family, they need to ask questions, listen, learn, and be willing to put into action what they learn. Like a student who struggles with literacy in school, the teacher steps in to help the student, but the student has work to do still. Questions can be asked and answers given, but nothing improves until the student applies what they learn.
So, my question: What do you want to know about life, grief, and how to interact with someone after the death of a child?
No holds barred. I’m an open book. I can’t speak for every grieving parent, but I’ve spoken to many and we have our experiences to pull from. Ask annonymously if you prefer. Please, just ask. Questions can be left in the comment section or emailed to me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Please, oh please, share this post and ask away. Thanks in advance!