My Son Lives

I read this post today and realized something. It should have been written this year. Not because it’s perfectly fitting for everyday, but I was kidding myself last year. Big time. I was running. I didn’t realize it then, but when I mentally, emotionally, and physically crashed big time in January, I knew. I’d built up such a high pedestal of positivity last year that I didn’t realize it was precariously teetering on the back of my sadness, anger, and despair over Caleb’s death and the Thanksgiving week miscarriage. A year ago, my perceived strength eventually turned into a shattered liability. Now, I’ve learned, I’ve grown, and I pray daily for the real strength it takes to feel, face, and release in a constructive way so this blog post and the feelings shared still ring true come January.

Caleb's Alive In Me

The physical and emotional journey I’ve been on over the last month, last year, is generally beyond words to adequately describe it.  Here’s what I do know as we approach Caleb’s one year death anniversary and his birthday the next day.

My son lives.

He lived and he lives.  He lived a gloriously busy, loud, inquisitive, dare devil, passionate, ‘nuggle filled life.  He lives on in all who knew and loved him as well as those who continue to get to know and love him through us.  He was and is amazing.

Our family, save A (who had choir tour), had the wonderful opportunity to attend the Giving Tree Reception at the University of Iowa today.  Caleb is featured on a poster next to the tree as a Gift of Life Donor.  Donor and recipient families were there along with staff from the hospital, Iowa Donor Network, and Iowa Lions…

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